In this post, I would like to talk about a subject I have studied at some depth. This is the subject of spiritual training, teaching and coaching: my view of it, of what does it consist, and traps that teachers and students often fall into while doing so. In order to talk about what traps can be fallen into, I would refer you to an excellent article by Swami Venkatesananda, in our Articles page.

Much of the reason I studied this topic was because of the difficulty I have personally experienced in dealing with coaches, spiritual teachers and experiencing myself as a student of these very strong personalities. What I say here is also informed by my own teaching, training and coaching experience in athletic and in spiritual matters for many years.

Then said a teacher, "Speak to us of Teaching."
And he said:
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of our knowledge.
The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.
If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.
The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding.
The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it.
And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.
For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.
And even as each one of you stands alone in God’s knowledge, so must each one of you be alone in his knowledge of God and in his understanding of the earth.
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

There are many ways of defining teaching, especially if you look on the internet. For my discussion here, we will assume we have a willing spiritual aspirant or student, for the most part. Given that wIlling-ness is highly variable in students, especially in the Western mentality, I will speak in general rather than specifically, as each approach is tailored to the individual aspirant or student.

Much of the writing on the internet speaks in regard to teaching in public school systems, but this is not what we are talking about here. That tends to follow a British method of instruction, which is fine for left-brained thinking, and often doesn’t help when it comes to right brain thinking, situational awareness, emotional competence or artistic expression. Never mind that the British system has essentially zero recognition of the spiritual life of the person- except maybe that they hold firm in believing whatever is the prevalent ideological ‘religion’ (in the bad sense) of the times.

Difference Between Teaching, Training and Coaching
It’s helpful to speak now about the difference between teaching, training and coaching. The main difference between them is where the expertise resides in the people co-creating the process. If the expertise resides mainly in the person instructing, giving direction, or standing on the stage- AND the student lacks any knowledge of the topic being outlined or shown, then teaching is going on. From the student’s perspective then, teaching ends where experience begins, and training then takes over from teaching, given the student’s increasing body of experience. Training then ends where competence begins in the trainee. Once competence has taken over only coaching can exist between the instructor and student.

Whole, Resourceful, Creative
It is my hope in speaking about these three aspects that it can be explicitly said that these conceptions inherently recognize the fundamental wholeness, resourcefulness, and creativity in people. There ARE Western schools that recognize these traits- like Steiner, Waldorf, Montessori, and newer methods that tend to fall outside public education. If you read the works of such as these, you can find almost verbatim yoga philosophy expressed in these educational standout’s personal world view, teaching method and so on.

Two Views of the Same
The Hindu:
I Am, therefore I am Not, therefore I Am
The Buddhist:
I am Not, therefore I Am, therefore I am Not

Yet, the Dalai Lama himself has said that both views are the same. This viewpoint is true of all real Sadhana (spiritual practice) and follow near-identical principles the world over.


Adult Holistic Learning
So, what does one do if one cannot go back to grade school and learn about how to deal with one’s Self in a holistic way? One can do Classical Yoga practices, of which asanas is merely a part. Yet, in this is a very large shift in perspective that is needed.

When I went into the ashram, it was VERY clear that one key aspect of my approach would need to be behaving as though I was a child again. I needed to be able to accept a radically different perspective on life than I had been presented with up to then. I remember before I went, having a real trouble ‘being a student’. As a coach of elite athletes, I always needed to be in a ‘high’ position, a uniquely ‘special’ quality had to exist about my relating to others, my expectations of people and situations, or I couldn’t handle it. I made many specific and special demands of everyone who would instruct me. Every endeavor I went into required a custom solution especially for me. Suddenly in the mindframe of being a child, then, I had some difficulty with these left-over thoughts from my previous life. I knew my narrow and “ME” centered approach wasn’t allowing me to feel whole any longer, and yet I had a REAL trouble putting myself to service, being humble, not speaking when I knew something and so on. I speak more about these difficulties of Westerners in Eastern spiritual practice here.

So, when I wrote earlier that we were assuming a willing student- this is HUGE ASSUMPTION.

Since at this point, my practice is mainly dealing with adults, I am focused on what it takes to gain some perspective, given a long history of doing things “our way”. The Frank Sinatra song “My Way” is almost a National Anthem in Western cultures, America especially.

What Teaching/Training/Coaching Is NOT
To introduce the student to his/her own mind, then with that mind form words, and speak and sing with the voice that the ages have gifted to that individual, this is the beginning of the real growth and dispensation of the student’s trash and unneeded baggage.

A good teacher, as the quote from ‘The Prophet’ above illustrates, knows what he cannot do. He cannot impart his understanding upon his student. He can only model his understanding. It is where a teacher attempts to impart understanding that teaching often fails. This is why the approach of the British system fails. It simply cannot work. The teacher cannot feel the student’s feelings for them also. If a teacher tries to do this, this then becomes a mechanism of control, and therefore fails both student and teacher.

Rote memorization is needed in some areas, yet it cannot serve as a teaching philosophy. Every student has his/her own voice. It is the job of the teacher to speak to the student in a way that lets the student know that the teacher hears the student’s unique voice. Encouragement or discipline from the teacher inform the voice and bracket it so that it does not slow, tire, or strain itself beyond it’s own growth.

Take Things Out
Spiritual practice is a set of practices that allow for the removal of modifications of the mind. If it serves another purpose, it is not spiritual training.

Thus, it is also easy to notice when one is making progress or not. When one is not making progress, and one is still in practice, it’s often that a larger issue is rising to the surface, ready to become conscious after a period of gestation.

Spiritualizing life is a process of freeing one’s self from coverings, limits, veils of understanding, and all other impediments of perception and conditioning. Any conditioning that is placed upon the person by a teacher is aimed to serve to the purpose of showing a student, in a layered fashion, the nature of reality. The reality is free of all qualities, in any case. While these things can often come all at once- like for someone like Jill Bolte-Taylor, or as a result of many lifetime’s experiences culminating in a chance for this wholesale dropping of one’s illusions- it usually doesn’t work in this way.

Once uncovered, your true nature functions beautifully on it’s own. A teacher has no need to guide a person whose mind is free- they feel and behave in a way that’s peaceful, calm and centered. Such a student navigates even life’s more difficult moments without assistance.

Professional Ego Crushers
Spiritual teachers then, are professional ego crushers. Depending on the style of the teacher, one could be insulted into Self-realization, loved through it, treated with kid gloves or man-handled through it. One teacher may tickle your funny bone, or challenge your intellectual nature.

One teacher may kindly ask you a thousand times the same question, or give you a riddle to work on until it’s grasped before even taking you as a student. Another teacher may not speak to the student at all for a long period even after taking on a new charge, or use stories, art, or any other means to appeal to the student’s mind. Still, their main goal is the attenuation of the ego.

One may use the intellect, another hard physical work. One student may be kept in a small room by himself, and in another situation never given privacy. One teacher may change his approach constantly or teach only one apparently small skill for many many years.

The problem with this from a teacher’s perspective is how to handle this problem of pain for each student. If one is to teach spiritual life, then one MUST accept that it’s painful for the students. No question about it and there is no avoiding it. It’s the very nature of the role. If the guru or teacher is to wash the mind of the student, then detergent is applied and many agitation and spin cycles must be done so that the student becomes clean. Then, with the student’s maturity, the teacher dries out the student on the line, or with further heat to temper his tendencies and allow him/her to move out on his/her own.

Teaching Alchemy
The other challenge is that often the student feels themselves to be something other than they truly are. Their habits and habitual conduct tend toward a specific run of things, and they may feel extreme identification with those habits or lifestyle. To use further our washing machine metaphor, the process of washing often results in the student realizing that they are a silk shirt, not a cotton one. From the student’s view, some sort of alchemy has taken place in the end- lead is transformed into apparent gold. Therefore, a good teacher will adjust his teaching to meet the specific requirement of the fabric washed.


This difficulty is often felt by students in some interesting ways. I myself have experienced a perpetual feeling of being misunderstood. Since I was gold to start with, being treated as such often feels wrong or inappropriate, yet in other, subtle ways is really correct. When the ego struggles to manage the pain of it’s washing and rinsing cycles- they can often feel quite violent, even though it’s only through the clinging of the dirt this pain is felt.

Teaching In Flux
The other aspect is that as the student moves along a holistic growth, different styles must be applied to deal with situations as they come up. For example, the student may not lack discipline in physical postures or mental acuity and attentiveness, yet is very immature emotionally. Therefore, teaching would be appropriate in an emotional way, whereas training or coaching is more appropriate in physical and mental aspects- for the same student.

There are also dependencies- one area a student deals with opens up for them a wholly different area to explore and these explorations have their own life cycles and internal ups and downs. A teacher must be able to read and see these aspects as they arise- not always for the better- and allow the student the space and bracketing (support in a loving, flexible framework) to have problems, even large ones, that eventually resolve in the context of the continuous teaching he/she is given.

Additionally, there is a self-effort that is looked for by the teacher, especially at the start, on the part of the student. There must be a curiosity about the nature of the process the teacher is leading one through, and a faith in the teacher themselves. Just the realization of what the process that the teacher is taking one through is a quite bonding thing for a student. It enables one to take a longer perspective on one’s own development and have faith in the process.

It is quite integrated and assumed therefore that some aspects of what the student will come to realize consciously later be given by the teacher- lovingness, faith, kindness of speech, honesty and compassion throughout the interactions between the two, starting from the beginning. These aspects must come from the heart of the teacher to the student as a result of the teacher’s own practice or integration of the principles taught. This is something the student can feel, not necessarily understand, at first, with the mind. This aspect itself on the part of the teacher leads the growth of the student into the second phase.

Round Rocks in a River
The teacher drops us into this river so that we may learn.
Caressed by the water, we shift a little, this way and that.
It pushes us onto each other, that we may remove a piece of each.
Soon we are all round.
Our forgotten fragments form the salt of this satellite.
Different colors, we abide in this foundation.
In time, we do not hurt each other, and we look much the same.
The round rock is the strongest.
We support each other and the river itself.
Our daily life is the river.

A Second Phase
Now I will change my metaphor to suit the intermediate stages of a student’s development. The washing machine metaphor works at the start of practice, yet after some trials and struggles, the student will mature. Then a teacher must shift the approach. Yet, this decision is NOT for the student to make. Only the teacher can see the student fully, at least until the student is a fair way into their maturity- then they often see it.

Now the washing machine analogy doesn’t work because it’s really the case that the cotton shirt doesn’t change from cotton to silk, but rather transforms from a cotton shirt into a cotton plant- alive and whole unto itself. Gradually, the student begins to shift identification with his former shirt-like self into a larger, holistic and comprehensive definition.